Chapter 9

A/N: Thanks for all the lovely comments thus far... I realize this story is a bit of a whirlwind when it comes to the constant changes going on in the story (especially with the relationships)  but we have a long way to go, so hang in there and enjoy the ride cause we are not even halfway there!


Septmeber 2006

“Engine 21, Ladder 6, Engine 3, Engine 22, Ladder 14 due to respond

1680 Jefferson St. for a dwelling fire with confirmed entrapment, 0130 hrs,” the loud voice of the dispatcher echoed through the old firehouse as the bright lights blinded me briefly and I blinked the sleepiness out of my eyes.

I went into auto-pilot and ran down to the steps to my awaiting bunker gear.  In under a minute I was fully geared up and sitting down in the jump seat, putting on my SCBA (A/N – Self-Contained-Breathing-Apparatus or Airpack) and buckling in for the short ride.  I could smell the smoke a couple blocks away and knew we were headed into something big.  Reports were coming from dispatch that everyone was out of the house except for a 3 year old that was supposedly trapped on the 2^nd floor.

“Kasyk!”

“Yeah, Charlie?”

“Grab a set of irons and do the primary search.  I want you to get to that 2^nd floor as quickly as possible.  Wagner and Casey, you back her up with the deuce and a half!  (A/N: Deuce and a half is otherwise known as a 2 and a half inch diameter hose usually used for putting out big fire.  A set of irons constitutes as a firefighter’s most important tools, besides water.  They consist of a halligan bar and axe.)  We’ve got heavy fire blowing out the front windows of the 2^nd floor!” he yelled back to me and the rest of the crew on the engine.

With those orders I tightened up the straps on my air mask and turned on my air cylinder.  Once the air brakes went on, I was off the truck and grabbing a set of irons.  I began moving towards the house when I felt a tug on my air pack.  I turned to find Charlie standing there.

“Be careful kid.”

I just tapped at the brim of my helmet and turned back to the task at hand.

I was met at the bottom of the porch steps by a hysterical woman screaming about her baby being in the front bedroom.  I put the information in my head and moved inside.  Heavy smoke was already filtering down the steps into the living room and I found my self crawling up the steps so that I could see easier and stay out of the heat as much as possible.  The roar of the fire sounded like a freight train and I could hear the Ladder Company already climbing on the roof with their chain saws to vent the house. 

As soon as I got to the top of the steps I was met by flames that were licking across the ceiling and down the wall to my left, like it wanted to try and reach out to grab me.  The flames coward back towards their origin and sizzled with anger as the nozzle-men behind me attacked.  I knew the flames would be back and that I had to make my move quickly if I was going to get into that room.  I quickly crawled to the door, busting through it with my halligan bar and began calling out and feeling around.  It was hard distinguishing between what were toys and what might be a body.  I finally felt something soft yet hard.  I poked at it and heard a muffled cry as I shined my flashlight onto small face that was hiding behind her teddy bear.  I yelled into my radio that I had a patient and scooped up the little girl while she still clutched her teddy bear that probably saved her life since she was able to filter out some of the deadly gases by keep the teddy to her face. 

I was struggling slightly as I tried to exit the room.  The fire had begun rearing its ugly head and I could feel the heat becoming more intense.  I pulled the little girl closer to me so that I could shield her.  My SCBA was beginning to alarm loudly as I reached low amounts of air. 

I was moving quickly as possible but it began vibrating, telling me that I only had a couple breaths left.  I took a big gulp of air as I descended the steps.  As soon as I got outside I handed the litter girl to the awaiting medics and ripped off my mask, gasping for air.  I sat down on the edge of the sidewalk to slow down my breathing as a volunteer changed out my empty air cylinder.  Someone handed me a cup of water that I ended up dumping on my head to cool myself down.

Emotion over took me as I dumped my head into my hands and began sobbing.  As I closed my eyes I saw the terror in the little girl’s eyes.  The next picture that floated into my drained, dreamy vision was Patrick.

April 10^th, 2008

“Seriously?!” I yelled out to the person in front of me that decided to drive 10mph under the speed limit.  I was heading west on I-490 to get onto I-90 from Rochester and I was exhausted from this week.  I was running back and forth between the American’s and the Sabres’ because we were both in the playoffs and I was on the roster for both.

Traffic was pissing me off and I just wanted to get home and get some sleep before I had practice in the morning.  My patience was wearing thin.  I was following some person in a Ford Taurus that couldn’t seem to figure out the difference between the gas and break pedals.  We came up on an exit and the Taurus put on their flasher, indicating she was getting off at the exit.  I breathed out a sigh of relief and stomped on the gas pedal.  The next thing I knew the car was back in front of me and I heard the crunching of medal and glass as I rear-ended her.

Fuck.

That quick the woman was running around her car yelling and swearing at me.  I just kept my cool and stayed in the Hummer until the cops showed up.  Of course there wasn’t a large amount of damage to the H2, but I definitely left an imprint on the back of the Taurus.  The lady was very animated about everything, throwing her arms around and using her head to talk.  However, when the cops and EMS arrived she started hobbling around and grabbing at her neck.  Heh, now isn’t that handy?!

I was giving my information to the officer when some EMS chick came over and began insisting that I go to the hospital to be checked out.

“Oh my gosh! Sir! You need to go to the hospital!” she said in a shrill, annoying voice.

“Um, no I don’t.  I’m fine and will check in with the team doctor tomorrow,” I snapped as I swatted her hand away from my face.

“But you have a big cut on your face!”

I took a deep breath to calm my annoyance before I spoke.  “Look, I’m a hockey player.  I just got the cut from a fight tonight.  I’m fine.  I had my seatbelt on and my airbag deployed.  Please, just let me sign whatever paper you need signed so that I can call for a tow and a ride.”

She opened her mouth to harass me again, but the officer just glared at her and she promptly shut her mouth and walked away.

“Thanks,” I said with a weak smile.

“No problem,” he said as he went back to writing down my information.  “Go call for a ride.”

I followed his orders and dug out my cell phone.  I knew if I called my parents at this time of night, my mom would freak the fuck out; no matter how much I told her I was okay, she’d speed out here and treat me like a baby.  So, I called the only person I knew would keep a level head.  Emma.

“This is exactly what I need after the shitty day I had today…” I mumbled as I slid into the hot bubble bath and shimmied my way down in between Ryan’s legs so that I could lean back and relax on his chest.

He automatically began slowly kneading my sore shoulders as he whispered into my ear, “I figured as much.  I saw the warehouse fire on the news and I could have sworn I saw you carrying a ladder with another guy.”

“Yeah, that was me and Wagner,” I confirmed as I was floating into a state of oblivion.  He had the perfect hands to cover a large area of my muscle with one squeeze and I could feel the knots loosening along with the tension releasing.

“You looked all business and sexy,” he spoke with a smile.

“Business and sexy?  Heh, I didn’t know those two words could be used together.”

“Most definitely, especially since you had some black soot on your face and a couple wisps’ of hair falling out from underneath your helmet.  I think you should do a photo shoot in your fire gear so I can make a calendar for myself,” he said with a chuckle.

“Pervert,” I snapped, trying not to laugh.

He leaned in against my neck, stopping just centimeters away from my skin as he said, “Mmm, no, not a pervert.  Just turned on by the way you look in your uniform and bunker gear.  It’s definitely sexy.”  When he finished he kissed me gently where he had just tickled me with his breath and words.

I lifted my arms and wrapped them around his neck, holding his lips against me.  “Well, it definitely turns me on when I watch you work; so I guess I can understand what you are saying.  So I’ll do the pictures if you do them too,” I finished as the mental pictures began clouding my mind.  I soon found myself letting out a moan as Ryan bit my neck.  His hands now slid around and cupped my wet, soapy breasts, pinching gently at my hardened nipples.  I pushed off the bottom of the tub with my feet and pressed my lower back against his hardening cock as I moved my hands into his soft hair, causing him to bite me harder.  “Fuck!” I breathed out.

I felt him detach himself from my neck as he asked, “Have enough energy to do that?”

“When haven’t I?” I purred back.

“That was the answer I was hoping to hear,” he said softly as his one hand slid smoothly down my stomach to the V between my legs.  I moved to rest my legs on top of his, to allow him more room and he went to work.  He began whispering in my ear about how beautiful I was and how much he wanted me to come in his hand as he traced my folds with his finger.  I left out a small cry as he pushed a finger inside my warm center and covered my hardening nub with his thumb, leaving my body buzzing.  Soon a second finger entered me and began a ‘come hither’ motion that stroked my core.  His lips were now up and down my neck and nibbling on my ear as I left my head relax in the crook of his shoulder.

I soon began drawing in ragged breathes and he put me over the as he applied more pressure to my clit as I bucked against his hand, crying out.

Once the orgasm was done ripping through me, I laid against him for a couple moments longer feeling the endorphins pulse through my blood.  “Thank you,” I whispered.

“My pleasure,” he said as I watched him lick me off his now pruned fingers.  I went to get up so that I could straddle him and face him, but he stopped me by firmly grabbing onto my hips, lifting me up and pulling me down over-top his thickness while my back was still towards him.  He basically did all the work with the strength of his arms by setting his own pace.

“Relax, Em, I have you,” he grunted out.  I obeyed by bracing myself on his thighs.  The position allowed him to penetrate me deep and towards the front, effectively hitting my g-spot once again.  It wasn’t long that I was panting once more and I felt his load shoot deep into me as my muscles clenched around him.

“Fuck, yeah…” he cried out as I felt his dick convulse for the last time inside of me.  His arms were shaking as he lifted me up one last time and placed me back between his legs.  He then wrapped them around me as I brought my arms up and pulled them tighter against me.

“I love you, Emma,” he said in an emotional voice.

I took in a quick breath of shock.  We had been together for close to a year, but our relationship was built slowly due to the craziness of our careers and for the fact that we were both not the types to rush into anything.  Heck, even though I stayed with Ryan a majority of the week, I still hadn’t technically moved in with him. 

I’m afraid I was a little oblivious to how serious our relationship had turned without me even wanting it to go that way.  We had taken our time getting to know each other and becoming friends, along with the benefits of being lovers. 

I was comfortable.  I was happy.  I was unsure if this is what love was supposed to be like.  I felt like I still had a ton to learn about Ryan.  I had basically met his whole family and yet everyday I’m surprised to learn something new about him.  Sometimes those things can be a reaction he makes at something I say or something that is on TV.  I didn’t realize his talent for music until we had been together for several months.  Obviously, this is what dating was all about; a time to learn about each other. 

I guess my main problem was the other guy in my life who knew every single thing about me, and because of that I was more comfortable about being myself around Patrick than I was with Ryan.

The “what if” scenario played out in my head constantly; ever since we kissed on the 4^th of July.  To be truthful, I refused to think that I could possibly love Patty that way. 

Summer 2006 ­– Fishing on the lake -  Emmy’s point of view

It was nice to be out fishing on the lake.  I was able to forget all the crap that had gone on in my last semester of college and I could semi-celebrate the fact that Patty was at least back in the same country and same state as me.  Fishing was something that we tried to get out and do a couple times during the summer; except the older we became, the harder it was to find time.

I was still a little upset that Shane and I had broken up.  I really enjoyed being with him, despite the fact that Patrick seemed to hate him.  I think he had only met him once or twice in the year that we had been together, but I guess it was enough for him to draw his conclusions.

Shane was very different from Patrick.  He was the intellectual type, only interested in getting into his father’s business and succeed in making money.  He was a student at SUNY Buffalo, whom I had met at one of the popular college hang-outs.  Not quite sure how it happened, but I ended up back at his place that night we met and the rest is history.  He didn’t know a ton about my background and I didn’t know a ton about him which was totally okay with me.  That reason would be the reason I was a little freaked out when he asked me to move with him to Cali.  We hadn’t even said ‘I love you,’ to each other. 

Plus, Shane didn’t have the nicest feelings for Patrick.  He liked to call him a dumb jock with no real goal in life.  Of course I stuck up for Patrick, but it would only end up in a fight.  So, I just stopped mentioning Patty when I was around him and avoided the conflict.

I was furious when Patrick made the ‘good in bed’ comment, mainly for the fact that our ‘bed life’ had been terrible.  After the first month or two our sex life dwindled to basically nothing unless he was drunk.  I was so irritated by the end of the relationship that I had started sleeping with a couple other guys from our group of friends.

I was sexually frustrated to the point that I had seriously thought about sleeping with Patrick.  I never forgot how his lips felt on mine that 4^th of July at Seneca Lake.  It was like I was in the middle of a tidal wave with no way out, until his dad yelled for us.  His fingers on my skin burned every time he touched me.  Even now when he held my hand on occasion, the knots in my stomach pulled tight, cutting off circulation to my brain.

I chalked up the feelings to the fact that we were in the horniest stages of our lives and that I wanted him because he really was a good looking guy.  However, deep inside I knew there were possibly more feelings there than I ever wanted to admit to myself.  I made sure to keep my distance when any conversation turned to anything remotely close to romance between the two of us and I made sure to keep our relationship light and casual, like it had been all these years.

I felt like I had been hit with a brick when Patrick essentially asked me to be his girlfriend.  So much of me wanted to jump into his arms and tell him yes.  I wanted to tell him yes, that I would move with him anywhere in the world.

The other part of me knew that I had my career and my own dreams to follow.  His friendship truly was more important to me than any lover could ever be.  I needed to make sure I had his support in everything and I was afraid that if we took a step into unknown territory that we would be setting ourselves up for possible failure.  I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I lost Patrick.  I was glad to see that he seemed to understand my words the first time they were spoken because if I would have had to say them again, I think I just would have said ‘yes.’

April 10^th, 2008 – back to Ryan and Emma after he told her he loved her…

I had a lot of trust issues that had become more of an issue for me as I got older when it came to serious relationships.  I was finally realizing how poorly I had been treated by my dad over the years.  Ryan had been more than patient with me, to the point that we had never officially called each other boyfriend and girlfriend.  Those words were labels that we both felt didn’t need to be stapled to our heads.

I wanted to spend as much time as possible with him and I constantly thought of him.  He always made me smile and always put me first; just as I almost always put him first, unless there was something up with Patrick that took precedence.  However, Ryan never complained if I did pick Patrick over him.  He always said he understood.

“Don’t worry Emma,” he whispered, pulling me from the internal war that was going on in my head at the moment.  “Things won’t change by saying the words.”

“Would they change if I didn’t say the words?” I choked out, still unsure what to do.

“Of course not,” he said worriedly as he slowly rubbed my back.  “I just needed to tell you that I love you because I have since the day you shot your mouth off and practically ran from my SUV after I kissed you,” he said with a smile as the picture played in both of our minds.

“I’m thinking this is what love is supposed to feel like, Ryan, but I’ve never been in this position before…” I said as the tears started fogging up my vision.  “You make me so happy and I definitely can’t get enough of you…” I faded off again.

“That’s exactly how I feel about you, Em,” he murmured into my hair as he squeezed me against him.  “I’m pretty sure you will know when it’s the right time to tell me, Em.  I’m not worried.  I love you and I wanted you to know that.”

As soon as he finished his words I heard my phone ringing in the bedroom. 

Patrick.

It was Patty’s ring-tone and for some reason I knew something was wrong.  I clambered out of the tub, slipping a couple times until Ryan put his strong hands on me to help.  I left a puddle trail behind me and answered the phone on what was probably going to be the last ring.

“Hello?” I answered as I felt uneasy.

“Emma,” Patrick’s voice echoed into my ear, sounding like he was relieved that I answered.

“What’s wrong?”

“How do you know something’s wrong?” he asked, surprised.

“I don’t know, so is there something wrong?”

“Um, actually yes.  I was in a wreck on I-490 and I need a lift home,” he said, now sounding tired.

“Ohmygosh! Patty! Are you okay?” I squealed into the phone as Ryan came up behind me and wrapped a towel around my shivering body.

“Yes, I’m fine.  I’m calling you because I didn’t need my mom freaking out, so please don’t freak out.  I rear-ended this dumb bitch and all my safety equipment was working okay, so I’m fine.  Plus I was in the Hummer.”

“Oh wow, your dad is going to kill you.”

“Gee thanks.”

“Sorry!  Okay, where are you going to be?” I asked, trying to get to the task at hand.

“In Chilli at the police station; the officer is cool and is giving me a lift there until you can pick me up.”

“Okay.  I’ll be there in about an hour.”

“Don’t rush.  I’m fine, Emma,” he growled into the phone, knowing I was still worried.

“I promise, I won’t rush,” I reassured him and hung up, turning to find Ryan with his eyebrows raised and looking worried.  “Patty was in an accident outside of Rochester.  He rear-ended some stupid lady, so I’m going to go pick him up,” I said as I began gathering my clothing to dress in.

“Do you want me to go with you?” he asked quietly.

“No, I’ll go by myself.  You need sleep for practice and the game tomorrow.  Besides, he might be a little embarrassed when people find out,” I said as I slipped my jeans on.

“Are you sure?  I’m a big boy, I can go without sleep, Emma,” he said with slight annoyance in his voice.

I stopped and stared at him as I finished pulling my hooded sweatshirt over my head.  “I’m sure, Ryan.  I’ll be fine.  I’m sorry, I’m not trying to brush you off,” I said as I realized that he probably thought I was because of the conversation we were just having in the bathtub.

He took a couple strides towards me, wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his bare chest.  “I know you’re not brushing me off.  I’m just a little worried that you will be second guessing after our conversation,” he said into my hair.

I leaned back so that I could look at him and said, “I’m not running away.”

“Good.”  He then leaned down and kissed me possessively, almost erasing my mind from the task at hand.  When he pulled back I was left standing there in a dreamlike stance.  I heard him chuckle as he stepped back to send me on my way.  “Go, be safe.  At least text me when you get back into town so I know you are safe.”

“Okay.  Bye Ryan.”

“Bye, Love.”